They say it takes a village to raise children. This implies that parenting and raising children is a hefty task, that will require a lot of help from extended family, friends, community etc. Most parents that I know, have parents and/or parent-in-laws to help them raise their children. They have them available to watch their children while they work. They get to go on date nights, go to concerts, take vacations...alone if they wish.
But what if you are a parent and don't have that proverbial village? What is it like to have to raise children, without any help from anyone, ever?
For those of us without a village, it is so much harder. My husband and I have been "going it alone" our entire marriage. We have never had the luxury of date nights, or vacations on our own. We have never had the luxury of "getting breaks", and time to be together alone as a couple, much less alone time, individually. We are with our children 24/7. Wherever we go, our children go with us.
Even if quality childcare was readily available and affordable (it's neither), we refuse to leave our children with strangers all day long, so I have put my career on hold to stay home and raise our babies. Every obstacle my husband and I have faced, financially or emotionally, has been in solidarity. We have had to be incredibly resilient, and reliant on one another, because we have no one else we can rely on. It is very isolating, relentless, exhausting, and overwhelming at times.
Raising children without a village requires a strong marriage, because never having a break from your children, does take a toll on parent's, both as individuals, and as a couple. My husband and I are an incredible team! We have each other, and I am beyond grateful for that, but I wish so much that we had family that we could rely on, to help us, to be our "soft place to land" when life throws its curveballs, as it often does. I can't imagine being a single parent, with no familial support. For those of you that are just that, I commend you and respect you beyond words!
It truly does "take a village", and for those of us that don't have that, we have to work twice as hard, sacrifice and give twice as much of ourselves, in order to raise our children. I take solace in knowing that my own children will never have to struggle, the way my husband and I have had to. We will be there for them, to help them in their adult lives, in every possible way. We will be their village.