Contrary to the commonly referenced adage “there are two sides to every story,” I am going to push back on, and challenge this. The idea that there are always two sides, is a carefully cultivated lie. There are two sides to every story, sometimes.
There are not two sides to a story, when one side is a lie. The saying "there are two sides" is giving equal importance, to an opposing side, that may be entirely in the wrong. Sometimes, the "other side" simply has no merit.
Because, while it is accurate that each person has their own perception, sometimes that perception of “their version”, is absolutely incorrect. Inaccurate. Twisted. Self-serving. Delusional. You get the idea...
Sometimes, and frequently in the case of abusive, emotionally unstable, as well as truly toxic people, their side is just plain wrong.
Sometimes, the blame actually does weigh heavily, if not entirely, on just one side.
In a toxic or abusive relationship, there are not two sides, there is only a victim and an abuser. When someone says, "there are two sides of every story", or they want to hear the other person's "side", what they are really saying is that they don't believe you. They don't believe in you. This is a person who is not in your corner (at least not fully), and we don't need to waste our time on people who do not believe in us, or support us. Especially, when we are speaking out on abuse we have endured, regardless of what type of abuse.
Sometimes, there is only one truth. One right side. Anyone who wants to hear the "side" of an abuser, or a toxic narcissist, is not worthy of your energy, and their judgements and opinions should be given no merit.
People also like to say "there are three sides to every story":
1) Your perception of truth.
2) The other person's perception of truth.
3) The actual truth.
I challenge that as well. Sometimes one person's perception of truth matches exactly, the actual truth. Sometimes the truth is obvious. Sometimes right is just right, and wrong is just wrong. There were not "two sides" to Rwanda. To 9/11. To the Holocaust. We know from those examples, that something can be inherently wrong, and one side can solely be to blame. So why is it so hard for people to believe that there might not always be two sides, on a smaller scale, such as in our personal lives?
The next time someone is telling you their truth, maybe don't be so quick to discredit them and their trauma, by assuming there is an alternate side with equal merit. Understand that sometimes, the information you have been given by one side, is more than enough to form an opinion, and that you don't need to hear "the other side of the story".
At the very least, you probably shouldn't make that trite remark...unless you enjoy alienating people.